I’m really nervous. I’m sitting here rewriting a paper and I just feel really on edge. It might be the diet coke or something but I just realized I’ve been chewing the shit out of my thumb. I’ve been having memory issues tonight, just stuff like having trouble recalling simple things like what assignment is due when, or where my wallet is, and I can’t tell if its from the concussion or the stress or if I am just making it up.
It feels like this is the first really real college stress that I’ve ever experienced and it just sucks so hard. Having to do a medical withdrawal of my Latin course feels weird too, even though there wasn’t any true downside. blug. I just want to be home with Emily and my family right now, and that is only 4 days away, but there is just so much to do in-between now and then that it feels like its going to be month.
Well, i guess this is blogging? I only really did it because Em is asleep and I just needed some outlet to put my attention into other than Ovid and Augustus and all that stuff. I wish she was awake to talk to, but I’ll get to wake up to her voice when she calls, so its okay. Reallyreallyreally looking forward to that.
Gonna fill this cup with water now instead of sugar/syrup-water, so that should be good! Blogging! Woo! You might see more of me on this thing, so, BEEE PREEEEEPAAAAREDD.
.
Commodus: You wrote to me once, listing the four chief virtues: Wisdom, justice, fortitude and temperance. As I read the list, I knew I had none of them. But I have other virtues, father. Ambition. That can be a virtue when it drives us to excel. Resourcefulness, courage, perhaps not on the battlefield, but... there are many forms of courage. Devotion, to my family and to you. But none of my virtues were on your list. Even then it was as if you didn't want me for your son.
Marcus Aurelius: Oh, Commodus. You go too far.
Commodus: I search the faces of the gods... for ways to please you, to make you proud. One kind word, one full hug... where you pressed me to your chest and held me tight. Would have been like the sun on my heart for a thousand years. What is it in me that you hate so much?
